sybil xyshen
clip 2 (agatha)
it explicitly warns me: limitless readings
her voice, a calm shade of blue,
stains this book, this grainy book of a film
full of holes, washed out by dust
as if silenced, no, shut,
savoured, never silenced, no
simply unsaid
the first sound: a static noise
and she is already present, i find her
moving, standby, still
rarely she is seen, still
i recognize her silhouette
from her reflection
from the hint of blue, blurred and blended
i must be
too young to have really tasted silence
so i only find her eyes
see-thru, blank but blue,
agatha, her name is a stone
thrown into water, agatha,
the consonants echo and ripple
the sound of her shoes
a weakling bleeding from every whole
a crimson so saturated, so full
was almost artificial, i would not
want to accidentally conjure
this image of pleasure
ruby lips, relaxed wrist
open palm -
i was satisfied and sad
an innocent whisper or alphabetical curse
words without meaning or shape
meek, meowing, pure and plump and pretty
as translucent as mathematics
i found them at my disposal
bandaged around my fist and finger
i was fulfilled and failed
must i consent to being captured
the camera follows her
as she moves thru the night, thru
soft tantrums, linen, april month,
thru images: an empty bed,
very early morning etc.
we watch, even tho or because we know
nothing at all. who is she. we want to know.
close ups of wrinkled sheets, the inside of
a moldy coffee cup, dried stains, like rings
inside an aged tree.
proof: that time does not move.
it hardens into coffee stain.
a voice thru clenched teeth.
anonymous, almost affectionate,
her voice. what else is there?
she is not yet me or anyone else.
she is not mine nor yours.
the night will eat away
all the words i didnt manage to gargle.
in my mouth there is a muscle
unkissed, it becomes
useless, it turns into
deep breaths,
shallow sleep.
Sybil Xyshen (she/her) is a Chinese-Canadian interdisciplinary artist, writer, actor and performance-maker, currently based in Vancouver, BC. In her work, she commits acts of transgression through the investigation of different states of beings and the affects of fragmentation.
She is intrigued by the the formlessness of femininity and the interplay of senses catalyzed by embodiment - working to address themes of desire, absence, memory, the subconscious, and the intricate nuances of interpersonal dynamics. She distrusts nouns and attempts to unravel adjectives, so that she may examine the viscus of each experience and reconstruct them with a non-discursive, imaginal lexicon.