deja carr (maldevisa)

UNTITLED ONE MILLION

What shoulders you have

>They are giants, in my mouth<

‍ ‍
‍ ‍ I struggle to love you,

Because you are smart enough for me

Some day we will be giants… ::
Bruised apples
And nightshade poems
Counting stars on each other's cheeks
I’ve loved you alone, every hour

And the oceans flood your converse
Upon the shore, check-marked like good shoes


And the forests call you greenThe desert, floods

When your name is in its mouth

For you, I dance and die, and breathe

And die and dance and breathe for money

Or the recognition

Of your neck swinging against my stomach to say

“What Earths live inside here?”

Me, as Black as the sole
You, with your peppery blue veins
Casting spells
Upon the nig

THE SOBRIETY OF A FLY

You.drank.a.whole.cup

Of water

Or blood

And we forget that you are big to the sediments
Of mud

That carry you, a current to a fingernail. The electric shock left, and took a leg
You walk along

And sting the snow to start Spring
What a lovely creature

Yes I will share my candy
If you can promise me,

You’ll savor it.
As you always do.

In this home.

BRING ME THE HORIZON

When I was young, MTV cascaded me in the mornings
No shower. Wet hair.
How does THAT work?

I know you loved me

But you left so early for work
Or so late, however
Alone is how I know myself to be

Music is as me, as I am her
Or him
Or them alone in the bathtub
Beautiful opal face, washing my back

Now I am tired. And stoned for the first time
The other kids tell me I ate a whole
Jar of

Five layer dip

While my friends broke promises
Under sheets, pills in both pockets

I sat there alone
Waiting to be alone
Wanting to be at home

With you,

Music

Carry me like a child on stage and find me, bruised in some corner of
middle-Aamerikkka
sauce all over my blouse
Letting no one near
My car-keys, lest they lose them, and I never make it home
To the sound of crashing and banging
Bring me the horizon,

The softest one