alexis florentina

Arrivals

I get close when I meander along memory’s timelines
when I fall over piles of words scribbled in journals
and across the margins of my favorite books
I get close when I stand at the borders of blurry half-remembered things
where all the places I try to belong stop me from coming in
and tell me to keep searching

I get closer when I touch all the scars that keep reopening and re-healing
when I allow the silent pauses between my body and unexpected kindness
to unearth me from the graves I keep burying my life within
I get a little closer when I find love blooming through dark places
and my first instinct is not to brood about what time takes away
or how everything eventually withers down to ash
when I only see the growing
I know I’m a little closer then

I get closest when everything’s quiet
when I’m forced before that hard blank stare
and turning away and plugging my ears is wholly impossible
I get closest to the roots of things when I cannot run away
when I am alone with my heart and not just my mind
I arrive when I leave behind all the walls I’ve built
when I put on my shoes to walk amongst flowers and breeze

I can think of that man I once saw on my TV
cupping water in his hands for a chimpanzee to drink
and in return that creature washed his fingers clean
when I hold what I saw back then in my own hands
I arrive at learning then